so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
