i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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