just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
