Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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