thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
