he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
