More tranny stories later!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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