Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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