My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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