so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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