let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
