do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
