well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
