Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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