Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
God I need to hump something, right now.
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