My first STD was from a foam party
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
