His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
