He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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