I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
