OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
