Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
