so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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