I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
