Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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