I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
