Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
