the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
