i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
