# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
