toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
