you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He has the fingertips of a God
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