ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
