if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
