You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
