He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
