why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
