with your own penis?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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