Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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