I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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