What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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