I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
