Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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