Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
