No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
