If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
