The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
