How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
