I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
