I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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