yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
