plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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