Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
